10 Things I wish everyone could know about Autism

Autism is complex.

I feel so passionate about raising awareness of autism but have realised recently that this is only a starting point and without allowing people to truly understand and accept the complexities of autism things wont start to change.

Despite being autistic myself I am still learning what autism means both to myself and to others with the same diagnosis but experience or view autism in a very different way to me. In this post I want to share 10 things that I wish everyone could know about autism.

1. There is nothing wrong with me (or anyone who has Autism)

Autism is not an illness, you cannot catch it from me. While it is true autistic individuals do experience suffering this is mostly due to living in a world that isn't designed for us. For example living with sensory overload, miss understanding social communication etc. It is also important to add that you cannot catch autism.

2. Autistic individuals want friends and enjoy friendship

While social interactions can be difficult it doesn't mean we want to be alone and have no friends. The different way that we see the world can make us come across differently leading to us easily becoming targets for bullying or being excluded from social groups. Having said this some autistic individuals are very happy with their own company, either not wanting to seek friendships full stop or enjoying small amounts of social interaction but also time alone. Be nice, be understanding, its not a lot to ask. I am incredibly lucky to have some amazing friends but this doesn't mean that I have experienced challenges forming and maintaining friendships along the way. 

I have previously shared a post that was written by my friends sharing their insight in to being friends with an autistic individual: Autism Another Perspective: Friends

3. Autism is not a Learning Disability

Mencap define a learning disability as a reduced intellectual ability and difficulty with everyday activities which affects someone for their whole life. People with a learning disability tend to take longer to learn and my need support to develop new skills, understand complicated information and interact with other people.

While a diagnosis of autism itself is not a Learning Disability it can be a co-morbidity of other learning disabilities, it is thought that around half of people with autism also have a learning disability. But a diagnosis of Autism alone does not mean that the individual has a learning disability.

4. The way that Autism is shown in Films/ TV is often the 'Hollywood version'

The way that Autism is often shown in TV shows often fulfils the stereotypes of autism, super nerdy, super academic, white, male and not that bothered about fitting in socially. Autistic individuals are individuals but this is rarely portrayed in the world of TV. There are also many aspects of autism that aren't represented in 'autistic TV/ Film characters' such as women, those that are desperate to fit in, those that aren't super clever. But I guess that doesn't make such good viewing...! Please don't base your view of autism on the way that TV characters show it.

5. There is only one reliable source of information to learn about Autism

Talking to autistic individuals! I hope that though my blog I am able to give you a bit of an insight into autism but I only represent myself. Talking to the autistic individual and those that are closest to them is the most accurate and reliable source of information. Of course ask in a sensitive way and respect the individual if they don't want to talk about their autism but I would like to bet that the majority of autistic individuals would be more than happy to explain what autism means to them. Having said this there are some great reliable sources of information out there that have been complied by autistic individuals and those that spend a lot of time supporting autistic individuals.

I have previously written a post that puts together some of the recourses that I think are beneficial when it comes to understanding more about autism: Autism Recourses

6. A meltdown is not the same as a tantrum

There is a very big difference and therefore the response should also be different. During a meltdown an autistic person looses control of their actions and feelings. It can lead to the individual causing harm to themselves. staring at the individual does not help. getting frustrated with the individual does not help. What we need at these distressing times is space and compassion. Telling parents of an autistic child who is having a meltdown that they need to manage their child's behaviour better is also not helpful. These meltdowns are highly distressing for the individual and those watching.

7. Autism is nobody's fault

Bad parenting does not cause autism. It frustrates me so much the number of parents that before having their child put on a waiting list of an autism assessment are asked to attend a parenting course. I would argue that parents to autistic children and young people are some of they most incredible parents out there. The impact that they have on their child's life is huge and is so rarely recognised. Having said this there is definitely a place to better support parents to autistic children and young people. Giving them the support and advice they need to raise a child who has additional needs and challenges to other children and young people. To any autistic parents reading this please remember that you are doing an incredible job in raising an incredible child who has the potential to achieve great things thanks to your support.

8. Autism can make the world an incredibly overwhelming place

Sight, sound, smell, touch and taste might be a normal part of your life but to many autistic individuals these stimuli are incredibly overwhelming, painful and at times just too much to bare. The sensory overload that autistic individuals experience can be a common trigger for meltdowns. Please be aware of what you are experiencing and think how this may be to someone who experiences senses in a heightened way. I think this video really helps to show what the world can look like for autistic individuals - Can you make it too the end?

9. Autistic individuals often work much harder than others to keep up

As I have already mentioned we live and work in a society that isn't always set up to accommodate the those with autism. This often means that autistic individuals have to work much harder to achieve things that others do. Autistic children are working at 10x the pace other children are at school trying to keep up with the academic work alongside processing sensory information, trying to decode social interaction, all of this can lead to them becoming exhausted and overwhelmed. Please bare this in mind when thinking about all that an autistic individual is trying to do. Sometimes a bit of extra time is needed to accommodate this. It is also important to remember that behind every hard working autistic individual is their support network of parents, teachers, wider family etc.

10. Autism is beautifully diverse

I have mentioned this is a few other points above but each autistic individual is unique. Some autistic individuals are extremely creative and terrible at maths, don't assume anything! Autism is a spectrum for one reason - when you have met one individual you have met one autistic individual. It is a beautiful and diverse spectrum of presentations. Lets face it the world would be pretty boring if it wasn't for some neurodiversity added in to the mix. Learning to celebrate and accept differences is a wonderful thing and if you only take away one thing from this blog post please let it be this.