As I write this post I am now being 2 months into my job (how has that happened!?). I thought it would write a bit of a reflection about how I am settling in, some of the challenges I have faced and some exciting things that are up and coming.
On the 16th September I wrote a post ‘transition into the working world’, my plan is that this post will follow on from that, so if you haven’t already go and check that out.
The past two months have flown by, I still have days when I feel like I have no idea what is going on and so out of my depth but at other points I feel like I am beginning to find my feet and being able to make decisions that I feel confident about, even challenging doctors decisions on one or two occasions!!
For anyone who has been living in cave and hasn’t seen or heard any news the NHS (despite Boris Johnsons helpful comment that the pressure was sustainable) is in dire states. Colleges that have worked on the ward for years have commented that this is one of the busiest lead up to winters they have ever known. This leaves me feeling slightly anxious, the height of winter is still yet to come and I honestly cant see how the situation can be any worse. We are desperately short staffed and patients presenting are on the whole sicker and more complex than we would normally see.
The ward I work on is primarily an adolescent unit (11-16 years) however we have been accepting patients from a few weeks old up until nearly 18 to help ease pressure that other wards are facing. This adds its own challenges in being able to switch from meeting the needs of a tiny baby who’s mother needs breastfeeding support to a 17 year old who is experiencing a mental health crisis, I am certainly kept on my toes.
The mental health side has been particularly challenging, I find it so hard to know how to best support these young people, despite this often taking up half our workload we receive little to no training on how to best support the needs of these young people. It can also be really hard from an autistic perspective to be able to engage with small talk with these young people to encourage relationships to be built. They are often very challenging to get anything out of and as someone who finds social communication challenging at times I have found this part of my job exhausting.
Alongside the challenging presentation of patients the short staffing is adding its own stresses to work, the unknown each day as to whether I will be moved to support staff numbers on another ward, even if you start on one ward it doesn’t necessarily guarantee that you will stay all day, being moved to cover lunch breaks is increasingly becoming a common occurrence. This does also add anxiety to the day, the unknown. Not knowing who you will be working with on other wards, what patients will you be asked to care for while covering.
Even when you do stay put the day presents challenges, on my ward we should be staffed with three nurses and 2 healthcare assistants. This I am realising is a rare event! Two nurses and one or two healthcare assistants is becoming good staffing in my mind.
Having said this I can say how supportive my line manager has been. Her support has been incredible. The work place adjustments that she has put in place has been incredible. She has been such a support on so many occasions. I am completely aware that I am very lucky and not all managers are as supportive as mine but I really hope that increasingly as awareness increases more people will feel that the workplace is a supportive environment where differences are not only supported but celebrated.
I have also begun to learn how to use down time slightly better (still a work in progress to get it perfected!). I got into such a habits while at university of spending everyday off placement working on university stuff. It is so nice now, if a little strange, to have actual free time! As someone who likes structure to the day this is something that at first I really struggled with but I am slowly getting there and enjoying time of not doing a lot!
I have maintained contact with Uni in doing some teaching in first year clinical skills. This has been such a rewarding thing to do. I have found it so helpful to go in and see them in the position I was in just a few years ago. It has helped me to realise just how much I have grown as a person.
Aside from work I am settling into other aspects of 'adult life'
I am in the process of buying a flat which is so exciting! So far the process has been relatively smooth with only a few hiccups, hopefully it will stay that way and we will complete in early 2022!
Opportunities are continuing to arise to get involved with autism advocacy which is really exciting. I have been working with a trust in London developing information for their staff wellbeing site providing information for autistic staff members.
I also have some exciting projects up and coming with NHS England looking at advocacy for autistic staff, especially in recruitment. I am also doing some work with the NHS England Southwest children and young peoples communication manager. The focus of this is around hospital passports for children and young people in the southwest.
Looking back to where I was 5 years ago I could never imagine that I would have the independence I have today. I also never thought that I would want to so publicly speak about being autistic but this passion just keeps growing as I realise more and more there is nothing to be ashamed off.
I am now a few days away from 10 days annual leave and will be taking a break from blog writing for a week or so while I am on leave but decided that this would be a good post to finish on before a short break. It is so important to be able to reflect back and realise how far we have come but also look forward to be excited about what the coming weeks/ months/ years hold.
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