As we approach the summer holiday period I felt holidays were a really important topic to cover. Holidays are meant to be a time to relax and switch off, but I personally find them quite stressful. The nature of a holiday is that it is a change from normal routine and takes a slightly slower pace to life to allow for time to rest.
Because of this I would say that holidays can be more exhausting than day to day life. Throughout my time at school despite not loving being in school I used to dislike the holidays more as the structure I relied on disappeared. As I have got older, I have found ways to make holidays more enjoyable and have found ways to be able to relax and enjoy rest! I still havn't perfected it but these are some of my experiences.
A holiday abroad
I find holidays abroad the most stressful. My family's idea of a holiday is very different to mine. If I was to have to go away I would choose a holiday that meant I was out, active and busy all day. However family holidays often involve sitting and enjoying the beach. Which I do enjoy but just can't relax in this way.
It may make me sound like a British snob abroad but traveling outside of the UK can be a very overwhelming experience. I find it hard to be in an environment where I don’t understand the language being spoken. I already have struggles with social interaction and that is when it is in my own language. All of a sudden when I am surrounded by a foreign language I don't understand the verbal or non verbal communication which can be really scary.
The food is different from home meaning it tastes and smells different to home. This makes meal times more stressful not knowing what ‘new’ food will taste like.
Even the simplest thing such as the heat can become over whelming. It might sound like an odd thought but the sun can be a source of sensory overload to the neurodiversity community. The bright light against a pale blue sky, the heat and constant feeling if clothes sticking to me because I am hot a sweaty. When it is sunny naturally everyone spends more time outside and this means that the noise level increases. All off this can become to much and add to this sense of overload. Not the most relaxing of things!!
I can also find jetlag really stressful and can cause me to have meltdowns. Even a small time difference can mean that meal times/ bedtime etc is off and this throws so much, especially when the rest of the day is in chaos mealtimes is one thing I can keep the same.
Holidays in the UK/ ‘Staycations’
Holidays in the UK can be less stressful. That sense that I am closer to home, the language is the same, the food is the same etc. However it can still be difficult as the environment changes. With the increase in booking websites online and the selection of photos that are available this as become easier in being able to visualise the place that I am going to however the pictures are not always accurate.
Another benefit for me of staying in the UK is that we are able to take our dog. She is a big comfort to me and helps me to feel safe and to be able to relax. I hate leaving her when we go on holiday so this adds another level of stress so a definite benefit to having holidays in the UK.
For me ‘staycations’ are the most enjoyable way of having a holiday but I know this isn’t the case for everyone. I don’t have to worry about packing what I need and worry about leaving important things behind. I don’t have to worry about not knowing where I am going and this means I can relax far more. It can be helpful to do ‘special’ things while having a holiday at home to help it to feel different from a normal day but this can happen with money saved with not going away, all with the comfort of sleeping in my ow bed when I get home.
Enjoying holidays is not something I have fully mastered yet and I would love to hear any ideas/ suggestions of things that others have found helpful but to finish off I have highlighted a few of my holiday survival top tips which I hope can be helpful.
Holiday survival Guide
- On family holidays we have ‘Hannah days’ these are days when every detail is planned. We go out and are busy. There is a set food plan and there is more of a structure to the day. This means on days that aren’t ‘Hannah days’ I am able to cope more with the stress knowing that there will be days to come when there is more of a structure and I can relax. It is however important to be open and explain that not everyone relaxes in the way that I do and therefore some compromise is needed for everyone to enjoy the holiday.
- When staying away from home take comfort items with you. For me this looks like taking my pillow slips so that I have something that smells and feels right on my head even if the rest of the bedding isn't quite right. I also like to take one of my dogs toys with me so that I have something that smells of her (kind of disgusting because she stinks but it is a smell that helps me to feel safe).
- Were possible book holidays in advance. We try to book family summer holidays around Christmas. This really helps me as it gives me time to look at pictures of the house we are staying in and do some research about the area making it feel more familiar. - Returning to the same holiday house can be helpful as it becomes a familiar place making it less overwhelming over time and means that eventually we are able to relax in this environment.
- It is also worth being open with travel companies/ airlines etc. Most are very accommodating and are able to make journeys etc less stressful. This could mean asking if you could board the plane while it is still pretty much empty and allow it to fill around you. Or asking accommodation providers for more photos or even videos of the accommodation. It’s always worth an ask!
- When on holiday but not on holiday e.g school half terms be aware this is a really tricky time so meltdowns etc may happen more. Try to keep meals to the same time as school timings. This can also make the transition of going back to school less stressful.
As always these are my personal views and each autistic individual will have their own experiences of holidays, there is also no right or wrong way to do a holiday. Trust me there are some holidays I can remember of having a count down to coming home but equally some where I have genuinely enjoyed myself so it can be achieved. It just takes a bit more thought and planning!
Whatever the summer looks like for you this year I hope it is restful and enjoyable for every member of the house!
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