Well I was overwhelmed with the response from my first blog post so here goes number 2...! In this blog I wanted to cover a topic that isn't talked about enough amongst the autistic community or beyond... Periods!
I apologise in advance if this isn't relevant to everyone reading but I think it is such an important topic and not really thought about in relation to Autism. I also appolagise if it feels a bit too detailed for people but I want to be honest about how I have experienced this! I am going to try and write this so it is informative to both young people beginning to start their periods and also parents of young girls.
Those on the autistic spectrum go through natural stages of puberty just like everyone else but like many things among the autistic community these changes both physically and emotionally can have a huge impact on those with autism.
I began my period in my in my early teens and it has been a struggle since. There are different aspects of puberty that throw up challenges:
The physical aspect of a period - for me I found that this was a massive sensory overload. Simple things such as wearing a pad, suddenly having this sense of feeling 'wet', the smell of blood etc. Alongside this the nature of puberty is that it can begin at a variety of ages and this can present its own challenges of the unknown. I remember the day mine began feeling overwhelmed, I didn't understand what was going on and couldn't bear the sense of feeling like my knickers were constantly wet. I also didn't like the sense of having a pad in my knickers as it added a new sensory experience. I quickly learnt that pads with wings weren't for me as if they came unstuck from my knickers and touched my legs this was very painful. I tried to use tampons but the sensation of this was too much for me so I stuck with pads. Another aspect I struggled with was the change of routine in the day, changing pads etc, knowing that I needed to go to the toilet to change my pad more often than I may normally go when not on my period depending on how heavily I was bleeding. I found that at times I would only remember to change my pad when I needed to go to the toilet and then find the smell of my pad overwhelming and wouldn't want to change it because of this.
The hormonal aspects of a period - Hormones are overwhelming for everyone and in the teenage years so many changes take place for both boys and girls in terms of hormones. Young people are known for being highly emotionally in these years and this can be really confusing for those with autism. I found that all of a sudden I felt this sudden lack of control over my body. I didn't understand why. I struggle at the best of times to understand how I am feeling and to express this never mind when hormones are added in! I found these initial years quite hard going and in many respects took steps back in other places in life as emotional regulation was so all consuming.
Pain!!- There is some evidence that autistic girls experience heavier and more painful periods (Article at the bottom of post*). I am someone who struggles with the sensation of pain and find that it can easily overwhelm me and consume my mind. It is important to be open and honest about this and not sweep to the side the pain that you/ an autistic individual is experiencing. It is real! However distraction can really help, as can allowing the individual/ yourself to just retreat and do what you need to do to get through. Baths, hot water bottles, exercise, dog cuddles, good Netflix series etc!
Lack of peer support - As discussed in my previous post my teenage years were lonely, I struggled to make friends. for many young people the community of peers is vital in processing what is going on in these years of change. For those in the autistic community it can make us feel even more isolated, it can take away that element of peer support and often the easiest people to talk to are peers so just something to be aware of in terms of processing and understanding changes!
Lack of understanding - The world of periods is a bit of a taboo subject amongst many and I know that this is certainly something I have struggled with. I have found it hard to know what is and isn't appropriate to talk about. In my head its a natural thing that my body does and why shouldn't I be able to talk about them but this is often something that people don't want to talk about. I also have found that there are 101 terms for things related to periods/ vaginas/ products etc and this again is confusing. I don't know how to talk about my own body when there are so many names out there what's right and wrong, makes it all the more confusing (is if it wasn't bad enough already!!)
The pill - While I know that not everyone gets on well with contraception I think it is really relevant to think about in the long term management of periods. For me starting on the pill gives me control, I can plan the week that I will have a period allowing me to prepare for it starting/ stopping. I know that this isn't the case for everyone and that for some it can have big impacts on hormones etc but it is certainly something worth discussing with a health professional. Remember it is okay to request an appointment with a female health professional and take a friend/ family member along for support.
Top Tips!!
- Prepare: Getting pads/ tampons and making them easily available in good time before a girls period begins. Wearing a dry pad as a starting point can be a really helpful way to begin to desensitise to this sensation. It can also help to gradually build in a change to the routine of the day of getting use to change the pad regularly.
- Be direct: As uncomfortable as it can feel use direct terms e.g. you are on your period, this is a normal thing it means you will bleed from your vagina for a few days each month but it will stop.
- Be open and honest: allow it to be okay to talk about periods and discuss places where maybe it isn't so okay to talk about this. Exposure to the process of seeing sanitary products, period blood etc with a trusted person. Also be open that this isn't something that we can control the start of and putting things in place to try and ease anxiety around this.
- Seek help: Its okay to ask for help from health professionals (GP, Sexual health nurse, school nurse, etc)
Most of all remember that everyone will experience this differently, the things I have discussed have been my personal experience only and I am fully aware our body's are all amazingly unique and some will not experience it to this level and others will experience things far worse than me. There are some great recourses out there such as Robyn Steward's 'The Autism-Friendly Guide to Periods'. Aimed at girls aged 9+.
*Steward, R., Crane, L., Mairi Roy, E., Remington, A., & Pellicano, E. (2018). "Life is Much More Difficult to Manage During Periods": Autistic Experiences of Menstruation. Journal of autism and developmental disorders, 48(12), 4287–4292.
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